Why I Ghosted WordPress

Why I Ghosted WordPress

WHY I GHOSTED WORDPRESS

Hey there!

It’s be a minute since I’ve logged into my WordPress & put fingers to keys. Partly because life got super real at the end of last year & partly because I felt muted by the events, which seemed to sap my motivation as well as my voice.

LIFE HAD ME FUCKED UP!

Without going into too much detail, my sister gave birth & lost her newborn to a congenital defect. Shortly after my mother was hospitalised & suffered an amputation & life had me all the way fucked up for a minute.

At the time of both events I felt so beside myself with worry, sadness & stress, that even the most mundane tasks seemed like mammoth tasks, & in that mind state I just couldn’t seem to write my way out. I guess there are different types of artists/writers; ones that thrive in chaos & when the sky turns upside-down, they are able to ground themselves to an instrument, a microphone, brush, keyboard or whatever canvas their art rests on. They’re able to just feel their way out. Then there are ones like myself who have to have a barrier of time to process.

Processing gives me a language in which to be descriptive in my pain, loss, confusion, obsessions, love & joy. The frustrating part of being the latter, is that I can’t seem to just navigate the pain & simultaneously express it in real time…or maybe I can, Im just super analytical & critical which can cause blockages. I am working on it, trying to be more mindful of just living in flow.

Anyway, so through the grief & trying to be strong for my sister, & trying to be Bob-the- damn-builder at the same time as being the primary care giver to mum once she left the hospital, something changed.

PEOPLE SHOW UP!

I got help with mum’s care & I started to really see my tribe galvanising together to help. Help my sister, my mother & also helping me. Family really came through cooking meals, coming round, best friends keeping my spirits up or allowing a safe space to just vent vent. The late night phone calls when my sister was unable to sleep & my business manager just being a real God send through this time. People show up!

That sense of “it takes a village” really washed over everyone & somewhere in that space I found my creative voice again. It was through the love I witnessed & personally felt, I could see everyone putting eachother together again & it’s been beautiful.

Don’t get me wrong, there were days of uncertainty, if the grief or the “I feel bummed out” feeling would leave but they do. I also know that there will be future days like this & thats ok too. It’s ok to just be in your feelings sometimes. They are what remind us we’re human.

ghosted_pic

MEDITATING

Ive been traveling back & forth to Sweden for work & since my last trip, I got into a heavy bout of insomnia. Rather than dose myself up with Melatonin, I  opted instead to burn some Palo santo & meditate & voilà, its started to do the trick.

I literally burn my Palo santo in the morning & before bed & it’s been a huge help to calming me & enabling me to get into the space in my mind to have dope meditations. I’ve been doing the Deepak Chopra & Oprah 21 day guided meditations, as I already was subscribed & a reminded would drop into my inbox every harrassing me to calm my mind. I finally gave in & it was magical!

Honestly im going to write about what meditation does for me, but in a nutshell, that was why I was ghosted wordpress.

You can find the link below (it’s not an ad or affiliate link)

Deepak Chopra & Oprah 21 day meditation

If you legit feel stressed or anxious, try this, or any other guided meditation that can start you on the process. It’s been a life line for me & I hope it helps.

Feels good to blog again!

Happy Construction

A x 💋

 

11 Comments

  1. April 8, 2018 / 13:32

    I am sorry you and your family went through such a difficult period. Glad you are back and that meditation has helped you find your path back to writing and more peace of mind.

  2. April 8, 2018 / 15:22

    I’m so sorry for what your family has been going through. In times like those, it’s necessary to take a step back and handle the things that are important. Its also great that you had wonderful, supportive people during this time. It’s definitely needed!

  3. Anonymous
    April 8, 2018 / 21:55

    Welcome back! I miss meditating and need to get some other parts of life in order. I am going ghost on something too .

  4. April 9, 2018 / 02:05

    So sorry to read about all that’s been going on. Sometimes taking a step back and taking care of yourself and your family is more important. Take your time.

  5. April 9, 2018 / 03:29

    I’m sorry about your sister and mother. Thank God for family and friends that hold us down. I’m trying to get better at meditation myself. I’ve signed up for the Oprah one but have never followed through. I might give it another go.

    • Ayak
      Author
      April 11, 2018 / 11:40

      Thank you Beretta, I really recommend palo santo sticks to burn & jumping back on the meditation. It has been a life saver but more so peace bringer. x

  6. April 9, 2018 / 12:59

    So sorry for everything you’ve had to deal with but so glad that you seem to be finding the light at the end of the tunnel! Sometimes you just have to get away from the online stuff and focus on everything else!

  7. April 9, 2018 / 13:19

    It’s totally reasonable to take a break from blogging with everything you’ve had going on to support you family. Good to see you getting back into the swing of things.

  8. Kiwi
    April 9, 2018 / 22:34

    Sometimes ghosting is healthy. I am sorry you had to go through such hard personal families emergenices but all good reason to step away from the blog for a way. I am happy burning the Palo Santo help because it really does!

  9. April 9, 2018 / 22:43

    First, I love that you define ghosted for the people who won’t understand. Second I am sorry that you experienced such trauma in a short period of time. I have had my own about with back-to-back-to-back situations and understand the need to just take a break for a minute. Allow yourself to experience those emotions and process them as you said so that you can get back to life as it will be after the trauma.

    • Ayak
      Author
      April 11, 2018 / 11:43

      Thanks Anitra, it’s been rough but we are here to learn from our experiences. Meditation has given me that space to transmute those processed emotions. I appreciate your message x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.